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Men  And  Family

(Author’s Note:  I am happy to introduce the new Hope For Fibroids, Inc. Men & Family section.   The new section will give men, friends, and family members, who are sometimes the silent hurting victims of fibroid disease, an opportunity to read about other families uterine fibroid experiences.)

Facing a medical problem:  For many couples it is the first time one mate has experienced a medical problem, and the other mate doesn’t know how to handle being the caregiver and concerned partner.  Many times the woman feels she must be the strong caregiver, but at the same time she is frustrated with the body changes that she is experiencing.  The physical changes can eventually cause the woman to feel incapable of handling everyday responsibilities, and she may feel unhealthy and mentally drained.

Hormone Changes:  Another area that men feel uncomfortable about is the handling of mood swings that are sometimes associated with uterine fibroids and hormonal changes.  The changes are not always easy for women to handle.  Many women hate the mood changes because it may create stress in the couple’s relationship. 

Showing Emotions:  Men from early on have been taught to be strong.   Don’t show any emotions.  It is sad that many men are brought up to not show their feelings – their tears – when their eyes have the ability to shed them.  Not expressing the true emotions with the mate interferes with the process of bonding and openness that makes couples able to handle all the emotions that a medical condition can cause (turmoil, being afraid, pain, uncertainty, stress, etc.).

Doctor’s Consultation:  Women have mentioned that some men don’t go to the Gyn or Interventional Radiologist visit, and they don’t talk openly about the medical problem.  If the men don’t go to the doctor consultation(s) some women feel their mate doesn’t care.

What many women don’t understand is some men have been brought up to shy away from talking about the ’private female reproductive area’.  Arising from this shyness is the feeling of being inferior about medical terms and knowledge about fibroid symptoms.   

Some men may think they are not allowed into the examination room.  In most cases, if the woman asks the doctor if it is ok for her mate to come in with her the doctor will say, “Yes”.

Sometimes men feel nervous about being in the examination room.  What the mate will see/experience is the patient’s lower section is draped with a sheet over the robe.  The extra chair in the room is angled in such a manner that the mate will not see what the doctor is doing, which helps to make it very comfortable for the couple.  Some gynecologist’s may perform an abdominal and/or pelvic ultrasound during the consultation.  Everything is done in a professional manner and a female nurse will be present during the examination. 

During a discussion with Dr. Woodward, an OB/Gyn, he explained his thoughts regarding the man going with the woman to the doctor visit.  He said,  “We Gyn’s have tried for years to have the men come to the consultation.  When we, Gyns, have to say it is a medical problem (cancer, uterine fibroids, etc.)  we have already lost the patient.  At that point it would be nice to have the husband/mate/friend be present to discuss the diagnosis with the patient.”

Infertility and baby issues:  Infertility and/or a danger to a baby’s survival in the uterus are major concerns that cause the most emotional rollercoaster of all to couples.  The desire to start a healthy family and not knowing which fibroid treatment to have performed; to get pregnant without a treatment; all the infertility issues the fibroids can cause; miscarriages; and conferring with multiple doctors to find out what is the best way to handle the situation can make life very tense and stressful.  The couple has to take a lot of time out of their schedule for doctor consultations and researching on their own what options are available for their particular situation. 

At the Hospital:  It can be an emotional moment when you have to watch your mate on a gurney and being hooked up to tubes.  Some women have a problem with seeing or giving blood, so men should not feel bad about experiencing queasiness or feeling faint during this process.   I don’t know of anyone who likes or finds it a pleasant experience being in a doctor’s office or having surgery.

Along with the hospital and doctor bills are insurance issues and concerns.  Today many couples don’t have health insurance or they have limited health benefits, which can add more stress to the relationship.  Gynecologists or Interventional Radiologists who have expertise with uterine fibroids disease are often needed for the treatment/procedure.  Locating the right doctor(s) can take a lot of time, and may require extra travel expenses to get to the doctor’s office. 

Children (Family):  Many men take over the responsibility of taking care of their children when the child’s mother is not feeling well or when her fibroid symptoms are at their worse (heavy bleeding, spasms/cramps, constipation, etc.).   The woman may be up most of the night, and the man may have his hands full helping her through a bad fibroid moment.  Fatigue can occur from this situation since there may be a loss of sleep.

Sometimes children have to experience scary moments when their mother has to be rushed to the hospital.  Daughters may be concerned about their reproductive health since heredity can play a part in the diagnosis of uterine fibroid disease.   

Friends:  Many times friends may be concerned about the health and well being of a fibroid sufferer.  In some cases the concern may include an unborn child and the possibility of a miscarriage. 

“I have included some e-mail messages to help all parties to better communicate during the hard times of fibroid discovery, research, and recovery.   The information may encourage the breakdown of communication barriers, and make the medical situation a little less intimidating.”  Mike

Contact Mike  (e-mail)

To:  Men, Family, Friends E-mail Excerpts

 Mike Waltman, Co-Founder and Marketing Director

Mike Waltman
Vice-President & Marketing Director

Mike's Background
Mike Waltman's video interview -  Fibroids: The Partner's Perspective
To contact Mike
2006: Continuing Physician Education:
Seen Through The Eyes Of A Fibroid Support Group (article)
Health Fairs
E-mail Excerpts
Fibroid Photos

Hope For Fibroids Poster (PDF)

To download Adobe Reader







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Legal Note:  The material presented on Hope For Fibroids, Inc. web site is for informational purposes only.  It is not meant to be a substitute for physician care.  If you need medical advice on uterine fibroid disease or other medical conditions you should discuss them with a physician.
Last modified:  Saturday December 24, 2011  |  
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